Obama's New Office Policies

A really conservative friend sent me this, and no matter how anti-Republican you are, you’ve got to admit it has a pretty funny ring of truth to it…

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a “fair shake.”
2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn’t apply to us.
4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it’s workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all.”
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it’s “good to spread the wealth.” Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic.”
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don’t feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he’ll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can’t pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn’t all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

Stimulus Package

TAX BREAKDOWN - simple

HOW OUR TAX SYSTEM WORKS

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and
the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we
pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good
customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.

Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important .

They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

So What Is It????

When Baraaaak first mentioned his financial savior campaign in a debate with Senor McCain, he said he was gonna cut 95% of everyone's taxes. "If you make $250,000 or less, I will cut your taxes." - BO. Soooo, what does it mean if the actual data indicates that the top 5% make $160,000 & more . . . where are his figures coming from? Lets just forget that FACT for now (something I' sure he's like us all to do), and focus on what he said 10 days ago, "If you make $200,000 or less, I will cut your taxes." - BO. Wait a minute . . . hey now, didn't you say . . . ok, well lets hear what his running mate said today, "No one will get a tax increase that makes $150,000 or more." - JB. Wow. If we vote these liars in, I suppose we deserve what we'll get - socialization.

WHY?

Why would the Los Angeles Times hide an Obama tape (for 6 months), or any information for that matter . . . when they are more than happy to air-out anything coming from a different perspective (ie – the Schwarzenegger vote). And if you don’t think the LA Times has a ‘perspective’, you’re wrong. It’s also amusing how they will print things that counter their opinions with absolutely no hint of evidence, but when something like this pops up, they suddenly gain some sort of integrity? Absurd.

I also want to know where BO is planning on earning the $430 billion? If he is only going to hike taxes on the top 5%, or the people making $250,000 or less . . . wait, err, $200,000, I mean $167,000 or less, that would create approximately $30 billion . . . umm, there’s $400 billion left, over 13 times MORE than the amount from where he claims will be the ONLY place he will raise taxes . . . seriously, you think he WONT raise your taxes?

Also, why is Joe Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. "Joe the Plumber", under such scrutiny now? His records have been blasted over the airways along with virtually every other article of personal; business he has – all because he stumped this imbecile running for president on a very uncomplicated and typical question? Now I have to know about his child support status? I think it’s also laughable that democratic congress members like Cavuto murdered Joe cause he had an opinion on Israel. Apparently it absolutely out of our jurisdiction as non-political members of the United States to form an opinion on anything . . . I didn’t hear them jump up and down when Oprah told us her opinion on Jesus, or Michael Moorer on the healthcare system, gun control or how we treat murdering terrorists? Funny thing is, us “regular” people know more about what we want, what needs to happen and what the “real world” is really about than any of these preposterous suits ever have and ever will.

The Begger

So I pulled in to the Quick Trip for some gas – I noticed a fella sadly walking around hauling a gas can. Now, typically I feel for this sort of situation, however in our current economic climate, I sometimes feel like I should be the jerk toting the gas can.

My usual response is to silently pray for a fellow in these certain ‘distresses’. So, I did, and seamlessly avoided contact.

I parked, swiped my card and proceeded to pump fuel into my tank. I pulled out what I thought was a buck or two in change from the truck and headed to the convenience part of the store to pick up a couple lotto tickets (remember, the economic climate – what better to spend your last surviving dollars than on than a couple lottery tickets?). While at the register I noticed the “begging” gentleman standing next to me offering a few collected bucks to the cashier - and as I stood there looking at the meager value in my palm, I realized that it wasn’t even enough to compensate a single lottery ticket. I looked at the guy, he looked at me, I offered my change to him and he shrugged an apparent “yeah” shrug, so I laid it on the counter.

I walked back to my truck feeling a bit better about myself knowing that I gave that “needy” dude the last 80 cents hard cash I had. While finishing my gas pump I noticed him approaching me, and then the inevitable; something about “I need this to do that” or “I gotta get a mile or two away” or whatever. I enlightened him to my financial status, and when he found out he had squeezed the “last” out of me, he shrugged and said, “Alright.” . . . I wanted to say, “Hey, don’t mention it, I know you’re not planning a trip to Tahiti, but remember, I did give you something – thanks for your gratitude.”

But I realized a couple things, in today’s socio-condition, it isn’t “him” that needs the explanation, its “us”, it’s always us. We are now under the most extreme pressure to explain our apparent perverse nature to take care of what WE want to, while neglecting the free-loader. And more importantly, I realized that all these thoughts were inadequate and wasteful, and tried to remember what Jesus would do . . . since I’ll never be able to offer anyone what He could, I’ll probably continue simply praying for the “needy” that cross my path – they seem to appreciate it more (in their silence).

Plumb on MO FO

Baraaak once again putting his foot in (your ass) his mouth. "I want to spread the wealth around" - basically giving a check to a third of the NON-WORKERS in this country, as part of his "95% of the public will receive a tax-break", which basically means 5% of you are going to receive a tax hike right up your cake-hole. Here's a fun piece, on this piece . . .

http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=195133

WHAT A SMUG BUTTHOLE.