Ed (& Eric) the Iron Man (Men)

I must show love to Ed baker – he’s the editor of our paper . . . the paper that will be taking over the world soon . . . when everyone realizes that the New York Post, Gazette, Times and Tribune are all full of shite, they’ll turn to the real news source . . . College Times.
Well, we’re a pretty damned good entertainment guide for the Phoenix area at least . . . anyhoo, Baker is running the Phoenix triathlon later this year. I don’t know the exact specs, but I think triathlons (3 activities – running, biking & swimming) go for about 732 miles running, 198 swimming and 1,487 biking . . . dude, its freaking insane. My main point is, I go to the gym (obviously by my 13-pack) but hate cardio. I used to jog before I lifted (big deal), but wasn’t really getting a lot out of it . . . so I thought I would give swimming a try. Sirs & Ma’ams . . . swimming kicks you’re a$$! I go non-stop (after a workout) approx 25 meters, and I’m housed. Its awesome . . . less than 10 minutes and my cardio is done . . .
. . . so I tip my hat to Baker for training and committing to swim a thousand miles this November (or whenever the lunacy is).
Oh yeah – our graphic designer Eric J is also doing it, but he’s done it before and is like a robot with his diet and training, so I bet it’s gonna be super easy for him!

Cross Walk (ASU)

ASU CROSS WALKS RULE!

When did I miss the widespread email on cross walking etiquette? Apparently it is NOT fashionable to hurry, scuse me, rather walk at a normal pace to cross the street. I think you're supposed to walk as fast as you can until you get to the street, then screech to a pimp-like stroll. But make sure that you have the “I don’t give a f*ck” look on your face. What's better, is you’ll never be left out – this works for both boys and girls, black, white, yellow, pink – you name it. If you’re a female, you’ll totally look like you’re ‘the sh*t’. No one can tell YOU what to do, you’re above all, and walking slow through the intersection is your way of pissing on the public, especially those a**holes waiting to make a right turn. You actually look MORE attractive when you show no consideration for anyone waiting for you to make your way. If you’re male, its even better . . . you’re the toughest thing since Amber’s meat loaf. Throw in a bit of a “pimp-limp”, and no one will mess with you – you might as well be Rampage Jackson. Be sure to hold on to your backpack straps with your thumbs, this will keep your momentum low, thus ensuring you don’t accidentally speed up . . . it is also great posture and body language that tells the person in the car with a job, “Hey punk b*tch, I gotsta get to class foo. Dis walkin sh*t aint no joke. Don’t look my wizzay neetha.” It’d be great if you could mix in earphones . . . the real big earphones, like you just left the studio after laying down the phat track, “Slow Walkin Mutha F*ckas is Hardcore. This will add to your groovy appeal.

Apparently we are having a love affair with Senator Obama . . . I'm just wondering why? What has he done for anything? I mean, the fella puts his foot in his mouth more than anyone I've ever heard . . . AND HE'S SUPPOSEDLY A BLESSED SPEAKER . . . I guess if you like "umm, uhh, I unequivocally have said, umm, uhh" . . . yeah, real eloquent. C'mon, I'm more articulate than he is – and that’s embarrassing – just cause you use a lot of big words doesn’t mean you’re saying anything.
I guess I’m just wondering why we like him? I mean, aren’t there any other candidates? Pop chimed – “these are the best (two) hairballs they could cough up”, this was when Billary was still involved. Pretty funny, but sadly true . . . however its not like either side is pristine or without fault, error or missing a huge leadership element. But back to Barack, I’ve essentially covered his career thus far – nothing – but what about the things he is saying? Cause remember, he’s mesmerizing . . . didn’t he mention a Biblical philosophy around seven times during the “debate-forum-thingy” at Saddleback Church regarding “treating the least of my brothers” or how we treat the “least” or less fortunate is somehow a reflection on our character, and to help achieve Godlike qualities, this is a tremendous characteristic (according to him) . . . DIDN’T WE JUST FIND OUT HE HAS A HALF-BRO WHO SAID THE LAST TIME THEY MET (in 2006) IT WAS LIKE MEETING A PERFECT STRANGER??? George Hussein Osamabama-bobama-fee-fi-fo-fama is living off $1 a month . . . saaaaweet. Way to “hook a brotha up” – literally.

All I’m sayin is . . . I don’t need a dude like that to raise my taxes to feed a system that is broken, to support programs I don’t believe in anyway, to be completely weak on defense and to talk down to me all the time like I’m an idiot . . . my wife can do that (I mean the taxes part)!!!

He is gonna announce his running mate tomorrow . . . maybe it’ll be Ludacris . . . did anyone hear this song? Where he says that McCain should be in a wheelchair, abd that Hillary is a beeeeeeatch (true-dat homie) and goes on about how the White House is getting’ painted blizzack . . . listen, I would love to have a black President, in fact, someone I would vote for right now is Michael Steele (ex Lieutenant Governor of Maryland). But I’m not gonna vote for someone cause they’re black, or cause they’re white . . . maybe if they’re HOT!