Cross Walk (ASU)

ASU CROSS WALKS RULE!

When did I miss the widespread email on cross walking etiquette? Apparently it is NOT fashionable to hurry, scuse me, rather walk at a normal pace to cross the street. I think you're supposed to walk as fast as you can until you get to the street, then screech to a pimp-like stroll. But make sure that you have the “I don’t give a f*ck” look on your face. What's better, is you’ll never be left out – this works for both boys and girls, black, white, yellow, pink – you name it. If you’re a female, you’ll totally look like you’re ‘the sh*t’. No one can tell YOU what to do, you’re above all, and walking slow through the intersection is your way of pissing on the public, especially those a**holes waiting to make a right turn. You actually look MORE attractive when you show no consideration for anyone waiting for you to make your way. If you’re male, its even better . . . you’re the toughest thing since Amber’s meat loaf. Throw in a bit of a “pimp-limp”, and no one will mess with you – you might as well be Rampage Jackson. Be sure to hold on to your backpack straps with your thumbs, this will keep your momentum low, thus ensuring you don’t accidentally speed up . . . it is also great posture and body language that tells the person in the car with a job, “Hey punk b*tch, I gotsta get to class foo. Dis walkin sh*t aint no joke. Don’t look my wizzay neetha.” It’d be great if you could mix in earphones . . . the real big earphones, like you just left the studio after laying down the phat track, “Slow Walkin Mutha F*ckas is Hardcore. This will add to your groovy appeal.